Morality or something like it

Okay, so something happened today when I was having lunch with a friend. Its one of those hypothetical 'what ifs' that we cover during an ethics lecture, but this time it happened for real. After lunch, as we were walking back towards the hospital, we spotted an ambulance in the middle of the road with a small crowd around it. Apparently, a pedestrian had just been hit and the ambulance had only just arrived. At the scene there was a young women sprawled on the road with two first aiders in attendance. Now, you might think me a bad person for this, but my first thought was, 'F@#K! What am I supposed to do? F@#K!' I mean, what exactly AM I going to do? The ambulance is there, the paramedics were starting to get things organised, all I'd be doing is walking up saying I'm a doctor and then that's about it! Without all the blood tests, splints, x-rays and nursing staff, what exactly can I provide to this person lying in the road, other than a few empty words of encouragement? Without all the back up you have in the ED, there is pretty much sweet f@#k all I can do in the street. Needless to say, and to my shame, I continued to walk on by. Only after we had passed by did my friend dare to ask, 'Shouldn't you have done something back there?' Right.

Days off

Another one of the things I love about the emergency department is that we are contracted to work a 38 hour week, and the consultants and other doctors try very hard to ensure that we get to knock off on time. I've heard some horror stories of 70 hour weeks from some of the other interns on the wards and I'm not looking forward to moving to my new posting in 3 weeks time. These 38 hour weeks are split up into two 10 hour and two 9 hour shifts - giving us in effect, a 3 day weekend. There is only one downside to this - occasionally this 3 day weekend falls during the week and there's no one to go out with; so you end up sitting at home and pissing away your free time dreaming of all the cool things you could be doing if it was actually the weekend. But I digress... I love my days off, so far I've caught up with a friend for lunch, done a little bit of shopping and then I'm going out with some other interns tonight to tell a few 'warries' (read general chance to bitch about work conditions, other doctors, nursing staff, the system in general). I love it.

My job as an Intern

For those of you reading this, an intern is the most junior form of doctor to be found in a hospital.
In general, without sounding too cynical, their job is more likened to that of a glorified secretary - albeit, one with an amazing ability to multi-task - but a secretary none the less. On the wards, our job is to trot behind the boss (read consultant - senior doctor in charge of the unit), listening in as he extols his opinions on the management of the patients with the senior registrar (read senior doctor in training), trying to catch his every word so that we can transcribe it into the patients' notes and have a PLAN. Now, this PLAN which we have written ever so carefully in the patients' notes doubles also as a list of jobs for us to follow up on once the higher ups have disappeared to wherever they go after ward rounds (a mystery I have yet to discover). Do I sound patronising? I apologise, but it is the truth.

Now, personally, I have yet to experience a ward job other than as a student. I am sure that when the time comes, I will have a lot more to say on the subject - and hopefully by this time, will have ceased to be cynical about it. So, if not on the wards, what exactly have I been doing for the last two months you ask? I have had the pleasure of spending two glorious months in A&E - Accident and Emergency, otherwise known as Casualty or the Emergency Department. Now, why have I enjoyed my time so much here? I actually get to practice medicine. I see patients of my own, develop a management plan of my own, and implement it. Of course, I have to check what I'm doing with one of the senior doctors, but all the same, they are my patients, I am caring for them, and I love it.

Welcome

Hi and welcome to my blog. I've started this in the hope that I can share with you all the roller-coaster that is my first year as a medical doctor. In a way, this is a bit of catharsis, a way of venting my feelings on patients, the public health system, my own ineptitude on occasions and just my thoughts in general. I don't think that too many people will come across this blog, so I am not too worried that my own personal thoughts will cause anyone any harm. In any case, I'll try to depersonalise or protect the privacy of others where possible. I do apologise in advance if someone reads something, makes a connection, and is offended. With that sorted out, thank you for taking the time to read this, and once again, welcome.